Tearing your ACL puts a lot of things in perspective. For one, after I tore it, I never again took for granted my ability to walk, jump, run or play soccer. I knew how much it took to get to where I was. I remember one time during my freshman year spring season where we had a really tough practice. We woke up at 5:30 am in the morning to walk 15 minutes to morning practice. At practice we scrimmaged the entire time (fun!) but then for fitness our coaches had us run TWO suicide miles. That was my first time running a suicide mile - it’s basically a full field 7-minute suicide where you do a suicide for every line on the field along with one extra full field sprint. It was brutal. During the second suicide I was about 2 minutes away from the end when all of a sudden, I couldn’t stop smiling. The very act of being able to plant my foot, turn, and accelerate into a sprint on a turf field just brought me joy. It was the weirdest feeling that while I was running this suicide mile and feeling absolutely exhausted to be pushing my body to the extreme, I could be so happy.
I’ve reflected on that day a lot. I don’t know if pre-ACL-tear-Christina would have been able to smile in the midst of a suicide mile and be grateful for the ability to accomplish the sprints. Now, I approach fitness differently. Oh yes it still sucks and I don’t think I’ll ever fully enjoy conditioning or preparing for a fitness test, but I know that it is WAY better than the pain of having to work on knee extension a few weeks after ACL surgery or the physical inability of my body to walk down stairs. Right now, as I am waiting for my results it feels somewhat surreal to be typing out how grateful I was to be able to run since as of now straightening my knee is painful and I walk with an extreme limp. But even if it’s not physical ability, there is so much I can be grateful for whether it be all my friends who have been so supportive and positive over these crazy last couple of days or even just the fact that I have a warm coat to prepare myself for the upcoming Chicago winter. In the end, I really do agree with my UChicago soccer team and our standard of having an “attitude of gratitude.” It really can change your outlook on a certain day or situation – for the better!
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